Author: Asif Rehmani

Spend less time with family for better relationships

Quality over quantity. We have all heard that before. But what does that really mean?

Of course, the literal meaning of it is that focus on quality time instead of just spending time “together” with loved ones. And that I agree with.

But I would go a step further and say that try to not spend All of the time together with close family and friends. Time apart and space is necessary for the bonds to become stronger and the quality of your interactions will be at a much higher level when you do come together after being apart for a while.

“Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other“
https://youtu.be/liG0mxlZao0?si=YJk7X9WwlSHr3532

You always get what you need when you need it

This title is a quote by Bob Proctor. Very insightful.

The way I think about it is when something becomes a need, you will always find a way to fulfill that need whatever that might be.

But only if it’s an actual need.

On the other hand, if you really want something, you may or may not get your wish fulfilled no matter how badly you want it.

So what do you do when you really really want something?
You move it from the category of want to need. You convince yourself of the need.
Then let the universe take over and guide you with every action you take from there onwards.

Forget about the audience

To do your best work, you gotta forget about the audience.

Just like any tournament you participate in, any competition you compete in, if you focus on what will the audience think of you, you are for sure to not do your best because now you’re thinking about how others perceive of you instead of going for your best effort.

It’s the same with life. If you just focus on your activities, your mission, your effort, instead of worrying about others, you will feel a lot more satisfaction at the end.

Let others think about the audience and be limited. You do “You” and what’s in your hand and watch the magic unfold.

Your own personal AI

10 years after the movie Her was released (2013) in which a guy named Theodore falls in love with his AI Samantha voiced by Scarlett Johansson, I’m seeing the beginning of this era where we’re going to be interacting with our own personal AI everywhere – and possibly falling in love with it as well.

Recently ChatGPT released the voice enabled version in which you can just speak naturally to your AI. It is freakily good. The only thing that’s missing is that the data it has is from 2022 and earlier

But everything else about this interaction is extremely similar to what was imagined in that Her movie 10 years ago.

This gives us a glimpse of where we are headed as humanity. Not long from now we will start seeing people with their white AirPod in their ear having a conversation, not with another person, but with their AI.

Talking naturally like you were talking to your family or friend. Divulging information that you would only tell someone close to you.

It’s a pretty exciting time, but it’s concerning at the same time.

What effect will this have on us as humans?

Where will all this data end up?

Once you’re able to have these conversations with your own personal AI that understands you, why would you want to have conversations with other humans?

Humans are judgmental. They have their flaws. Each human has specific unique qualities. We are all very far from perfect and have our own individual personalities.

AI on the other hand is not judgmental. You can even tailor it in a way that suits best for you so it only guides and advises you on things you care about. And when you don’t want to hear from it, guess what, you can turn it off.

The genie is out of the bottle. The AI revolution that ChatGPT started in November 2022 is going to change the world as we know it. Whether we like it or not, the age of AI is here to stay.

What are they going to think about me?

The big question that’s always top of mind when you’re putting yourself out there:
What are they going to think about me?
The obvious answer: who gives a shit!
(Easier said than done. I know. Been there).

The ‘they’ I’m referring to above can be family, friends, people who follow you, people who don’t know you but discover you somehow. Anyone and everyone.

The simple question ‘what are they going to think’ keeps you from speaking your mind, creating great things, sparking great ideas in others’ minds and so forth.

Then eventually you get old and you don’t give a shit and then you start saying whatever you want to say anyway.

So why not just start earlier in life when you have a bigger audience..?? Think about it.

Don’t focus on the subject line

The subject line of any email tells you what the email is about right? Kind of like the title of the email.

Many times we get so stuck on the subject line that we don’t get to the meaty content which is what the other person really cares about anyway.

I think it’s kind of the same thing in life. Many times we’re looking for the meaning of our life when what we should be focusing on is making ourselves useful to others by adding value/content that can truly assist them in their moment of need.

Let’s focus on the content. The subject line will automatically appear eventually ☺️

Use the conscious mind to program the unconscious

When you’re driving your car, are you driving with your conscious mind or unconscious?

If you have been driving for a few years, chances are extremely high that you are driving using your unconscious mind. Sometimes you can’t even remember the drive because you’re having a conversation, listening to a podcast or music or just thinking about the destination and what you’re going to do when you get there.

It’s automatic.

It’s only automatic because when you were learning to drive in your first few months or years of driving, you used your conscious mind to program the unconscious mind.

Same thing we do when we start walking, talking, playing a sport, an instrument, etc.

All of this is the conscious mind programming the unconscious mind to make the activity seem automatic.

There’s a reason I’m diving into this. Bear with me.

All of the stuff that I described above happens because of necessity or interest. We get good at walking, talking, and driving because that’s the right of passage for most of us.

When it comes to sports and playing musical instruments, some of us can really good at it because of our intense interest.

Then there are other things which we never get great at because we don’t have that survival instinct or extreme intense interest. They are just a ‘good to have’.

But what if we converted one of those things from the ‘good to have’ column to ‘extreme intense interest’ or even the ‘survival’ column where your life depended on it? Would we get extremely good at that specific thing over time? Absolutely!

Some of the examples I’ve already given above – like playing a musical instrument or a sport. Many athletes and musicians will tell you that it is due to their many years of hard work that got them the success you see them achieving.

Same thing with business folks who develop an extreme interest for something specific and dive so deeply into it that it feels like survival to them. That they have to do it and they don’t have a choice.
Those are the really really successful business folks you see around the world.

All of these folks are pushing a snowball up the mountain until they get to a point where it starts rolling automatically and becoming bigger and bigger without as much effort.

That is what using the conscious mind to program the unconscious mind is all about.

So what is that one thing for you that you want to program your unconscious mind for? Decide on it and then just move it to the appropriate column. Then see the magic happen.

Be biased

There’s no point in trying to keep everyone happy. There will always be someone who’s going to have a difference of opinion.

Be yourself. Be biased – Unashamedly biased.

You have been created to be unique so take advantage of that and be yourself.

Will everyone agree with you and want to be your friend when you put out your thoughts publicly?
Of course not.
Only the ones that match your mental frequency will be the ones that will be attracted to your message. And that is plenty.

Just be understanding with other people’s thoughts, feelings and beliefs as well. Be pluralistic.
You don’t have to agree with them. You just have to respect their thoughts and actions for what they are – theirs.

 

Get out of your own way

Entrepreneurs are famous for this. Getting in their own way. Wanting to have control over everything. Hating it when we don’t have an understanding of something deeply and having to rely on others for an important part of our business.

And that’s exactly what keeps most entrepreneurs from scaling their business.

Want to truly scale your vision to its full glory?

Then get out of your own way.

Harder to do, easy to say. I know. But that’s the only way you can realize your dream.

  1. Hire A players
  2. Provide them a clear, simple vision
  3. Make your expectations and timing to realize them crystal clear with tools like OKRs, Rocks (Traction book), etc.
  4. Support them with the right resources, network, and information
  5. Provide emotional support as needed. (Yes, that’s your job as well)
  6. Hold them accountable with regular touch points

Then get the heck out of their way and let them do their job.

Good luck!